she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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