When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
As shirtless as possible
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
