Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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