I don't think brook has ever known best
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
