Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sry I called you an 8
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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