break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
