You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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