Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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