I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
