My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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