I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
