Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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