Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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