Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize