I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
