I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
