He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
