After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
