the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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