It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
