Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
