I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
