When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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