we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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