party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize