youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
