That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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