So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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