Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
