i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry about my life...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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