You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
