I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize