I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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