lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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