marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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