I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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