god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
