Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
