Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
