love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
