sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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