I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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