For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this will be a night to untag.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
