At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
