Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
