Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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