just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
