whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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