arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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