dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
