MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
