mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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