it's too hot outside to masturbate.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
