im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
