I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
