So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
