you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize