Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
