accomplished twins. life is a go
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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