Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so let's talk penis.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
