a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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