You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
