Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
