You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
