32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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